As we decided whether or not to post this harrowing recent story about a squirrel emerging from a toilet, we took to the Googs to see if there was anything funny we could use as an accompanying visual. Surely someone has done a photoshop job of this scenario, we assumed, because stupid fake squirrel images make up at least .6 %* of the internet (*unconfirmed but often feels true). Instead we found the real thing: soggy sewage-soaked squirrels, looking miserable and rat-like.
And that’s when we realized that toilet squirrels are a thing. Every so often, around the world, one makes itself known a la commode and freaks the living crap (errr, no pun intended) out of a human, and somehow a local newspaper writer finds out and recounts the tale with the sort of gripping, breathless narrative usually saved for prison escapes and devastating tornadic storms.
Dude. We at SqSqSq love us some wacky squirrel stories, but we just realized there’s a line, and it stops at the household plumbing. We pray for all who have endured Toilet Squirrels, and will crack an extra nut in your honor tonight. We had no idea.